It was a night of conflicting emotions for Lady Gaga. After winning two Critics’ Choice Awards Sunday, she sadly learned her beloved horse Arabella was dying.

Gaga shared the news in a heartbreaking post on social media, along with a photo of her riding the white horse for a 2016 Vanity Fair Italy shoot.

“I am so honored and blessed to have won both Best Song and Best Actress alongside Glenn Close this evening,” she wrote. “My heart is exploding with pride. But it saddens me to say that just after the show I learned that my dear angel of a horse, Arabella, is dying.”

Gaga said she rushed out to say her goodbyes to Arabella, skipping any post-awards show parties.

“She is and was a beautiful horse,” she continued. “Our souls and spirits were one. When she was in pain, so was I. I will never forget the moments we shared. Long hikes together, galloping through the canyons. Feeding her cookies. She will forever be a part of me. I am so very sad.”

She concluded with a message for Arabella: “I wish for your pain to end, and the gates of heaven to open for you. I love you.”

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