Ever since Justin Bieber married Hailey Baldwin after a whirlwind courtship, there’s been constant speculation about their relationship. Well, speculate no more: The couple tells all in the new issue of Vogue.

In the interview, on newsstands February 19, Justin reveals his past addictions to drugs and sex, and the real reason he canceled the last part of his Purpose tour in 2017.

“I got really depressed…I was lonely,” he says.

We learn that Justin and Hailey have known each other since 2009. They were close friends, and then dated briefly three years ago.  That ended badly, Hailey tells Vogue: “Negative things happened that we still need to talk about and work through.”

In June of 2018, during a period of self-imposed celibacy, Justin ran into Hailey again.

“I just forgot how much I loved her and how much I missed her and how much of a positive impact she made on my life. I was like, Holy cow, this is what I’ve been looking for,” he says.

Justin explains, “I’m the emotionally unstable one….Hailey’s very logical and structured, which I need. I’ve always wanted security….With the lifestyle I live, everything is so uncertain. I need one thing that’s certain. And that[‘s her].”

But their marriage hasn’t been easy — in fact, Hailey admits, “It’s really effing hard.” They’re in therapy, trying learn how to communicate so their personalities don’t clash, and she’s struggled to deal with the feeling that everyone is rooting for them to fail.

Hailey says, “I’m not going to sit here and lie and say it’s all a magical fantasy. It’s always going to be hard…But we’re committed to growing together and supporting each other…At the end of the day, he’s my best friend. I never get sick of him.”

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